Grandpa Marvin

Very unexpectedly, J's dad died on June 23 from a heart arrhythmia while swimming in his pool.  The news was a complete shock (in fact he was supposed to be getting on a plane that evening to visit with us in London) and I'm pretty sure it still hasn't quite sunk in.  It's easy to imagine him still living his life in Florida.  With Joan having passed away just two years ago, there was a lot of emotions surfacing.


The kids took the news in stride, remarking on how they now only have one grandparent living (which makes me very sad for them) and how they'll miss all the fun activities that Grandpa Marvin used to plan for them.  I concur - he excelled at planning fun activities!



I'm so glad we spent time with him in Florida in April and visited Disney World together.  Wonderful memories that will be cherished even more.

The family waited a few weeks until our kids finished school and we could get back to the states to hold a memorial service.  There were actually two services...one in Princeton, NJ where most of the family and former colleagues lived and then another in Naples, FL with more family and friends.  The kids and I only attended the New Jersey service while J flew down to Florida to attend the second one as well.

The New Jersey service was held at a local museum & garden, Morven Gardens (J's sister joked about Marvin's service being held at Morven - still makes me giggle thinking about it).  The service was held in a tent outside, which ended up being standing room only. At one point, there was thunder in the distant and a torrential downpour that threatened to cut the service short (or electrocute someone when the electrical extension strip was sitting in a puddle of water) but luckily after 10 minutes the sun broke through. The service was very lovely and personal, with various family members getting up to read, recounting stories and singing songs. Below is my contribution to the NJ service.  I couldn't read it without choking up but I somehow managed to get through it.

On the desk in their homes in New Jersey and Naples, Marv and Joan kept a quote by Eckhart Tolle:

YOU ARE THE DANCE

There are 3 words that convey the secret to all Success and Happiness

ONE WITH LIFE

Being one with life is being one with NOW

You realize that you don’t live your life but

LIFE LIVES YOU

Life is the Dancer

YOUR ARE THE DANCE

Marvin danced a dance that would win any competition.  He made the most of his one, precious life and by all accounts, unlocked the secret to Success and Happiness.

Professionally, his focus and drive led him to become a gifted neurologist and successful pharmaceutical executive. He received many accolades over the years but surely the highest praise came from his granddaughter Caroline when following a knee scrape incident she proclaimed, "Grandpa is really good with band aids".  Well if that wasn't worth 50 years of medical training I don't know what is. 

While he did not wear his emotions on his sleeve, Marvin had a huge capacity to love.  As a teenager he fell head over heels in love with Joan, and 56 years later was still holding her hand as they walked along the beach together.  His last dance was with Susan and being with her, his happiness shined from within. 

But he was also in love with Siri whom he spoke to all day and night.  And lately he was spending more time with Alexa, walking around his kitchen shouting out sweet nothings such as, “Alexa, please add milk to the shopping list”.  Marv embraced technology like a teenager might and he had a passion for learning that never waned with age. Apple should really consider making him an honorary genius. 

Marv also had a passion for travel and has great stories from his adventures all over the world.  One of my favorites is when his Japanese colleagues dared him to eat a tasty but potentially deadly fish. Up for the challenge but nobody’s fool, Marv wisely invited his hosts to try it first.

He had a generous spirit and shared with his family the gift of adventure. Family trips were Marv’s favorites, being able to spend dedicated time with his kids and grandkids, showing them the world and in return seeing the world through their eyes.

In the end, Marv’s dance was full of love, family, discovery, admiration and experiences that are uniquely his.  I take comfort knowing that he leaves us with his dance card completely full and each one of us blessed for having twirled across the dance floor with him.

Click Here to see photos of Marvin throughout the years.